It is really hot. The heat is soaking into my bones and making me feel like a melted puddle of nothingness on a patch of hot cement in the middle of the Sahara desert. I can't figure out how to turn on the air conditioning, so that sucks. And I don't know where is the fan. That last sentence was not proper English, but if you were as devastatingly hot as I am, you would forgive me for my bad English because you would realize that my brain is melting. All of the essential parts of my brain have melted away. I think all that is left is the part that remembers how to type and the crazy part that can see unicorns. So this post is going to be one of those weird posts that you read and you think to yourself, "Does she actually think that Pterodactyls are not extinct and unicorns are living in her yard"?
The answer is yes, yes I do.
This is what I look like right now:
In case you are wondering, those are sweat drops on my forehead.
The only thing my brain has the capacity to write about in this extreme heat is the pros of becoming a mermaid. So here it goes. Sorry for the complete randomness.
Why I wish I were a mermaid:
1. Mermaids live in water, like the Pacific and the Atlantic. Usually these oceans are cold. So basically, if I were a mermaid, I would be immersed in really cold ocean water right now. Cold water sounds heavenly.
2. On a scale from 1 to "The Most Awesomest Creature," mermaids get a 9. Who doesn't want to be awesome?
3. If I were a mermaid, I could flake out on some ocean rock and brush my hair all day. No one would tell me to get off of my butt and do something useful because I could just respond with, "I'm a mermaid" and that would instantly deflect any orders. It would remind people of my awesomeness, you see.
4. Everyone that saw me would be amazed by how beautiful I was, because mermaids are known for their extreme beauty.
Well, I can't really think of any other reasons why I would want to be a mermaid. Those reasons were pretty weak, I admit. While I was writing them, I looked up on google "why I wish I were a mermaid". I was thinking that other people might give me some ideas about why being a mermaid would be so much cooler than sitting in my room with my computer thinking about how hot the world has become. GUESS WHAT I FOUND. It might be the coolest website ever:
OH MY GOODNESS. This might be the discovery of a lifetime. I always quietly assumed that I was the only person in the world who yearned for Mermaidism, but it turns out there is a whole network of people in the exact same situation as me!! Even better, it's a support group for people who cannot cope with the utter magnitude of their desire to be a mermaid. I think the world has come to a standstill. I am speechless.
THIS IS AWESOME.