Blogger, I Know Where You Live.

I CAN'T BELIEVE IT.

I had just finished a post that was so incredible it would have instantly become a screenplay, when all of a sudden I accidentally deleted the entire thing.  In any other situation I most likely could have recovered my work by pressing the magical button "undo," but NOOO, Blogger decided to screw me over by using that opportunity to autosave my post.


So now instead of me giving you a fantastic post that you probably would have cried of happiness over, I have to give you this pathetic thing.

I am angry at you Blogger.  We're getting a divorce.  Well not quite a divorce because if I did that I wouldn't be able to blog anymore.  So instead we're getting a domestic partnership.  Even though I have no idea what that means but I'm pretty sure it just means we live together but we don't talk to each other unless you're buying me ice cream or asking me whether I would like you to massage my feet and the answer is yes.




I guess to tide the time I'll just tell you a story about my day.

Today I got stung by a bee.  It was my first ever sting, even though bees and I are like "this tight," *simulation of tightness by crossing fingers*, hence my name.

Actually my name has nothing to do with honey bees, it's just a happy coincidence.  But anyway.

Did you know that when a honey bee stings you it dies because its abdomen dislodges from its body?  That's, like... awesome.  Can you imagine if humans were like that?  What if when we used weapons against someone else, we died?

"I have a stinger in my butt and I'm not afraid to use it!  Actually I am.  Let's just be friends."

Wow, I think I just unintentionally invented the key to world peace.  Honey bees are so smart.  If you have a question, go to the honey bees for an answer.


AAHH!  I just had an epic battle in my bedroom between me and a barely-visible blood-sucking mosquito.

I lost.

I Guest-Posted!!

So one of my fave bloggers from Green-Eyed Opinions was kind enough to let me do a guest post on her blog!!  Since I'm slightly socially awkward, I had a hard time coming up with something that a majority of the population would enjoy.  Unfortunately, I don't think I really succeeded considering I discussed more battle scenarios and zombies than was absolutely necessary... but anywho, check it out here.

And while you're at it, check out Tara at greeneyedopinions.blogspot.com.

She's incredibly awesome. Here's a shout out to her for not only allowing me to use her as a guinea-pig for my very first guest post, but also for putting up with my oddness.

Here's a unicorn just for you, Tara.

That turned out a little creepier than expected.  I apologize for that.

This One's a Little Mushy.

Just wanted to quickly thank all of you great people for all the nice comments.  It truly means the world to me when I hear your nice feedback.  In order to thank you profusely for your kindness, I drew you a picture of a unicorn fatally stabbing Chuck Norris that you can use at your will.

You're welcome.

Oh, also, I didn't draw any blood and guts even though I really wanted to, but feel free to use your imagination to make this picture as gory as you would like.

Notice the detail in my drawing regarding his stylish 80's denim vest.

Also notice how I made sure to give my unicorn extremely masculine colors.

P.S. If you feel more utterly confused than you usually do while visiting my blog, click here.

Follow me on bloglovin'!

Well, I feel a little lost right now.  I decided to put my blog on bloglovin', but I'm not 100% sure what the heck I'm doing.  If anyone has any tips, advice or a simple description of what bloglovin' is, please feel free to leave a comment.

Meanwhile, follow my blog with Bloglovin!

I am a Killer Human

So the other day I was browsing around the internet, and I decided to look to see if there were any blogs dedicated to unicorns other than mine.

So when I looked up "unicorn" on the Google blog search, I found this amazing site about killer unicorns.  The site was dedicated to the task of telling others about the dangers of killer unicorns, finding unicorn slayers, and showing informative videos about the unicorns that they caught and are now using for medical research.

At first, I was like, RIGHT ON!! But then I realized that the site was lacking one thing: information on good unicorns.  I mean, we all know that all unicorns aren't killer unicorns, right?

So I decided to write to the blogger and let them know all about my frustration. The email went something like this:


To whom it may concern:

I appreciate your blog due to its informative nature of dangerous unicorns.  Your blog is very helpful in describing the dangers of unicorns and the cautionary steps we mere humans must take in order to be safe. 

However, I feel that your website lacks one thing:  you have failed to communicate properly the facts about GOOD unicorns.  I for one have had first-hand experience with unicorns that are not only tame, but dedicate their lives to using their magic for greater purposes, like saving the world.  Although these good unicorns are extremely violent and have been known to impale their enemies with bloodthirsty gusto, these unicorns would never imagine killing an innocent human.  In fact, I own one of these unicorns.  He is living in my backyard.  Sometimes I ride him when I don't have a car handy.  He has always been a very good unicorn.  And he's a vegetarian.

Even after taking your quiz entitled "Unicorn Species Identification", I couldn't seem to identify what type of unicorn I own.  Here is a description of it:

My unicorn is about the size of a small horse.  It can change color at will, sort of like a chameleon.  The colors and patterns on its silky hair can be anything from manly camouflage to girly pink.  Only true unicorn believers can see these unicorns, that's why the home owner's association hasn't come to fine me for having an animal that is not included in the "comfort animal" category.

Please, let me know what your thoughts are on my experiences with good unicorns.  I would really appreciate if you could educate the public on these unicorns as well as me, since I believe this is a vital part of understanding the world of unicorns.

Thank you for your time,
BeeBee



Well I waited about four weeks for them to respond and they never did.  I'm assuming that's because they have no idea how to respond because they aren't really unicorn experts.  


Or else it's because the blog is actually about four or five novels written by Diana Peterfreund that are all about how "real unicorns are man eating beasts with razor sharp fangs and a fatal venom in their lethal horns" and she is mad at me for doubting her work. 


She probably hates me.  She also probably thinks that I'm a good-for-nothing blogger that knows nothing about unicorns or her books.


But maybe the truth is I actually know everything about killer unicorns and the reason why I know so many unicorns who won't kill me is because I am a killer human that likes to hang out with killer unicorns.  After all, killers don't kill other killers. 


Well, I'll update you if she responds.


Meanwhile, visit the blog, (It's actually really awesome):  www.killerunicorns.org
And BEWARE, right now you are reading the blog of a killer human and her killer unicorns. MUAH HAH HA

Where Have All the Unicorns Gone?

Hey everyone!

So I'm running on three hours of sleep at the moment, and considering I have had the busiest two weeks ever on top of that, I'm pretty exhausted.  I feel like a sloth.  My brain is moving at half the speed that it normally does.  Because of that, I apologize in advance for any idiotic grammar mistakes or slightly unintelligible jokes that I may make in this post.  If you don't understand what I am talking about, don't worry.  I probably don't either.

My life has been pretty hectic lately, with work, dance, classes, and Harry Potter premieres.  In order to do all of these things, I kind of had to neglect other aspects of my life.  For example, neatness.  My room is a disgrace.  Also, summer reading seems to have become nonexistent.  I think that my mind is subconsciously hoping that if I ignore my assignments, they will disappear from my life and I won't have to go to school ever again.  It's kind of like that thing I used to do when I was a kid; I would sit as silently and still as possible in my room before school one day hoping that my parents would miraculously forget that they have a child and drive away without me.  "Hmm, I can't remember if I brought my kid to school.  I probably did.  Eh, I'm just not going to worry about it."

Woah.  I got totally off-topic.  ANYWAY, another thing that I neglected was this blog.  And I apologize for that.  I'll try to get back into the swing of things and write some more posts.  Sorry for the break in action.

Ok, well that's it.

Bye.

(See you soon.)
(And next time I'll bring unicorns.)

I'm an Internet Celebrity

I discovered the greatest animal ever.

The other day, my family and I visited the zoo.  It was a really awesome zoo that had everything going for it - it had all of the big cats, humongous African elephants, giraffes, and the like.  It also had an animal that I had heard of before, but never truly understood the raw beauty of its existence.

Without further ado, I will introduce to you the naked mole rat.

PHOTO CREDIT: Jean a.ka. Just Chaos

OH. MY. GOODNESS.
Let me just say one thing: EPIC.

I'm going to share some facts with you about this little guy that I learned while at the zoo:
1.  Its skin is so loose that it can turn its body half way around in its skin.
2.  Its mouth closes behind its teeth so that dirt doesn't get into it.
3.  It's blind.
4.  It can't feel pain.
5.  It is breathtakingly hilarious to look at.

I can't really decide which way I should take this post.  Part of me wants to stick up for these poor little creatures who are only put on display at the zoo because they are so shockingly ugly and pathetic that they are slightly ridiculous.  How would you feel if your only purpose in life was to be made fun of?

The other part of me is silently cracking up because LOOK HOW UGLY AND PATHETIC THEY ARE! HAHAHAHAHAHA

That's really all I have to say.  I'm pretty sure that this post was completely unnecessary because it really had no purpose.  I shouldn't have even posted this, because the truth is that naked mole rats are awesome enough by themselves without all this text.  I should have just posted a photo of a random naked mole rat with the words "NAKED MOLE RAT" underneath the picture and that would have been enough to make me an instant internet celebrity.  I would be known as "that internet sensation who became famous after she posted a brilliant post with a picture of a naked mole rat.  So original."  In fact, now that I think of it, the words "naked mole rat" are so incredible by themselves that I should have just left that as the entirety of my post.  Too bad I didn't think of that before I typed this entire thing.

Ok, I'm done.  Aren't you glad you know about this amazing animal, now?

P.S.  Can I just point out that being  pathetic and incredible at the same time is like a feat of nature?  I am impressed.

PHOTO CREDIT: moi. I am fah-bulous.

Announcement

Wow.  That is the most boring title I could  have possibly come up with for this post.

Anyway, I have an announcement!  My sister and I began another blog!  She is the writer and I am the illustrator, so it definitely has a bit of a different feel to this blog, but it's still just as awesome.

Our blog is called "Wigs 'n' Jigs" and it is all about Irish dancing.  I'm assuming a lot of my followers do not do Irish dancing (If you do, that's awesome.  Email me and we'll talk.) so you might not understand all the posts, but feel free to check it out and share it with any Irish dancers that you may know.

Here's the URL: http://www.wigsnjigs.blogspot.com/
Or you can click on the image on my sidebar.

Thanks for your support!  Follow and share!

Here's a monster:

Apparently Unicorns Aren't Masculine Enough.

I was always under the impression that unicorns secretly rocked everyone's world, and people who claimed they didn't like unicorns simply hadn't had the opportunity to truly discover the greatness of this mythical beast.

Apparently I was wrong.

There actually are people out there who hate unicorns.

I have one word to say to these people:  what?!


This small population of unicorn-haters mostly consists of male specimens.

I tried really hard to come up with a logical reason why guys would hate unicorns.  I decided that perhaps the main reason these males decided to hate on unicorns is because of the unicorns' reputation of being extremely feminine and slightly childish.  The poor guys are scared that liking unicorns will threaten their manliness!  I have brought it upon myself to prove these stereotypes wrong.

UNICORNS ARE NOT FEMININE.  UNICORNS ARE NOT CHILDISH.

This is why:

Ok, so I guess a lot of the time I draw pink unicorns.  I understand that the color pink is girly, so perhaps this might give the wrong message to my readers; however, the reason why I always draw my unicorn as pink is because my pet unicorn IS pink.  Duh!  The thing is, unicorns don't have to be pink.  They can be any color.  They could be masculine colors too, like... um... well...

what the heck is a masculine color???

Ok, how about... blue.

Or..... camouflage?

Or.. um.. black and grey?

Wow.  Masculine colors suck.  No wonder I always make my unicorns pink.

Anyway, to further prove that unicorns are not masculine, I will refer to one of my first posts about a fight between a unicorn and a bear.  You can find it here.  This post is about a freakin' BATTLE between a BEAR and a UNICORN!!  Isn't this, like, exactly what guys like to talk about?  They come up with strange, bloody scenarios about some battle to the death that usually includes something about Chuck Norris, right?  Wow, I wish I had a brother.  I have no idea what I am talking about.

Let's move on.  Unicorns are NOT childish.  Nothing about violently impaling enemies or using magic to cure world hunger and starvation or crushing someone to death using hooves is G-rated.

So the point is, this blog is TOTALLY appropriate for guys, too.  It is not just for girls.
And, next time you come across someone who claims they hate unicorns, especially if it is a male, bring up the fact that unicorns could impale Chuck Norris in one blow.